thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i drank out of a bidet.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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