Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
