Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
