At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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