What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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