They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
ok first of all what the fuck
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
