Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
