I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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