i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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