Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
