what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
