Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
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I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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