I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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