Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
