it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
All the doctor said was why
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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