just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
