Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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