you lied. pity sex is amazing.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
