You're my little dorito
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize