Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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