I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
