i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize