Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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