u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
