I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
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side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
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Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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