I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
