would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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