I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just blew my weed a kiss
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
