Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize