And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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