so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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