Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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