Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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