I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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