OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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