I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
