I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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