Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
