dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
