apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
