her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
