I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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