i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
