Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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