love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
