Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
