as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
