Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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