chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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