party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
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She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
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All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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