Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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