i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
