You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
